The morning brings mist, this time
And it is welcome.
I have been struggling with these too-bright days
Demanding action, reaction
Unforgiving in the pursuit of happiness.
Now the cooler air, and the fine envelope
Which drops around my shoulders
As I open windows, and sit on the front porch
Calms and steadies me;
Shrouds me just so slightly from view.
I feel giddy, halting:
stationary, after momentum of months
Carrying me forward, onward,
Nights nothing but extra time
To remember what needed doing,
To worry why it hadn’t been done.
Where are the brakes?
For it is done, it is over now,
The life change is completed, and
I am glad of it: weary though I am,
I can see that it is good –
That we forced our hand, and played well.
Was it worth it?
Yes, yes, but I found my limits
And was made to surpass them,
for better or worse.
The brakes had better work.
And yet I know the emergency stop
will mean whiplash, in Eldorado.